Throughout our lives, we experience stress. We often see stress in a negative light, but sometimes it has positive effects. The distinction is crucial because it shapes our response. Moreover, stressors can be positive or negative. You might not like tackling a challenge your boss gave you, but if it’s within your capabilities, you’ll grow.
On the other hand, happy developments in your life can create negative stress. A couple expecting their first child might feel joy but also anxiety. If parents aren’t assured of financial stability or a strong support network, that prolonged anxiety can lead to chronic stress with its associated negative impacts.
Significant changes in our lives can lead to substantial growth, but young people seek to avoid them after seeing the effects of stress in some of their elders. That doesn’t have to be the case, and embracing this change begins with your mindset.
Nothing to fear
Having a child or getting a promotion can be exciting but also fraught with uncertainty. Moving forward in a relationship, whether you buy a diamond wedding band or send them a simple text to confirm it, carries the same complications. Excitement and uncertainty both cause stress. Thus, you could potentially be subject to a double dose of the adverse effects.
This is only something to worry about if you let fear win the day. Successful stress management is mostly about perception. If you emphasize the facts too much, there is certainly no shortage of things to fear. You can look at all the divorce-related statistics. Or how the cost of childcare and quality education is only increasing each year. Maybe you start to weigh the downsides of job advancement, such as relocation or stepping outside your comfort zone.
There is nothing to fear. Saying that doesn’t make these factors go away. It doesn’t magically reduce your chances of failure down to zero. What it does is give your mind renewed focus. You have permission to focus only on things you can control.
You have the freedom to bask in the enjoyment of success and celebrate these milestones. Reframe fears as challenges, and instead of being overwhelmed with dread, you can feel confident that there will be a path across every obstacle.
Realign your practices
We are in full control of our responses to stressful situations. The next time your team is facing a big project deadline at work, observe how your colleagues respond. Some of them might find even more time to procrastinate on their devices. Others resort to an overload of unhealthy snacks and stimulants like caffeine or nicotine.
You might also notice that some people respond to challenges by becoming even more disciplined and focused. They don’t take more prolonged or more frequent breaks, skip meals, or go without sleep. Instead of letting stress spill over into other areas of life, they meet it with matching intensity.
These different modes of response can be innate to some extent, but they can also be changed. Maybe your practices lean closer to the former type than the latter. Developing a growth mindset can help you improve your response to stress.
This will help you to realign your actions in every situation. As your child grows, or you face new challenges at work or in your relationships, you’ll stop seeking postponement or a way out. Your immediate instinct will be to take ownership and find ways to do better.
Leaving room for yourself
Besides the fear of not proving up to the task, people can also avoid life changes because they believe a compromise will be required. You give up a bit of yourself to enjoy success in these things.
This is yet another mental mistake you can conquer and dispel with the right attitude. It takes a village to raise a child. In a relationship, only narcissists believe that they should be the center. Great leaders know that success comes from their teams.
In such endeavors, although your effort is vital to success, it’s never entirely about you. Rather than aiming for perfection all the time, parents can be ‘good enough.’ Healthy, lasting relationships are founded on exchange and communication. Sustained career success is always owed in part to the help of others.
Relax, and leave room for yourself. Learn to balance everything with self-love and acceptance. You’ll have to give of yourself, but you also need to let other people step up to the plate. Acknowledge that no man is an island and that significant challenges require a team effort. This will help you to open up, accept change and stress in your life, and grow.
